One Week Later...

I have to admit, I actually feel better. I have been exercising again, after a month of hardly any regularity in exercise. I'd do some exercise like once or twice a week. Anyway, I feel better already. I mean, there still are some stuff that really get to me...but I feel like somehow, I had found a bit of balance internally. I wouldn't call it peace exactly, as there are still some things that truly gets to me. But then, for now, I am able to deal with them. Having said that, I hope you guys have happy days too. 

Let the happy days outlive the bad ones. I'll be back...but maybe not in the same light.

Back on Day 20: Long Weekends

I have been gone for a few days, I know. The past week was probably the angriest I have ever been in quite some time. So while I have been searching daily for reasons to be happy, the past week has tremendously twisted my perspectives and realities.

The nice part is that it was a long weekend. I had ample time to recharge myself and restore a semblance of sanity. I have been silent because the I have been blinded by too much anger and hurt to see even the slightest glimmer of joy.

Today seems much better. The reasons to be angry continue to exist, but they no longer play in the foreground of my thought. I see a little more clearly and breath a little more easily. I spent the long weekend spending money that isn't mine--mostly for food and survival. Don't ask me why as it might surface the reasons that are sitting already in the background of thought. I spent the weekend mostly mall hopping and food tripping with my sisters. It was quite fun to be honest.

We finally went ahead and bought a DVD player. We usually watch DVDs on our computer, since it was generally easier for us. But then it would be difficult to watch when other people wanted to watch with us. The computer has such a small screen to accommodate three (3) viewers all at once. It was quite messy to set-up, as our television's really old with a screwed remote control and punched in channel buttons. Yup, you can imagine. Nevertheless, my sister's remote control exploration helped us press the right button. And we got it set up pretty well.

How did you spend your long weekend?

And, what made you happy today?

Day 17: Alanis' Jagged Little Pill

 

Image Source here.

I am actually still very angry. And I don't think it will end any time soon--or at least until I leave this hell of a place. (Yes, I have plans of doing so sometime soon.) There are new reasons to be pissed with every new working day. I have become increasingly anti-social. Because I am a disgruntled employee but I am not permitted to be disgruntled because I am the daughter of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. This is truly driving me insane.

And really, all that's helping me keep quiet at the moment listening to angsty music on earphones. At least I get to release my angst through Alanis' lyrical genius. 

So right now, it's Alanis who's making me happy.

So what made you happy today?

Day 16: Green Tea Latte

 

Image from Starbucks.com

My doctor has forbidden me from taking any coffee, because of the palpitations I have been having. I have been off coffee for about 3 weeks now. After about two weeks, I tried taking a cup of brewed coffee, just the regular 8 oz. cup. An hour later, I had palpitations like crazy. So, no more coffee for me.

The alternative I was given was green tea. Since I was taken off coffee, I have been taking a cup of green tea, twice each day--no more than that. I realize now, more than ever, that anything in excess is indeed bad for your health.

For those of you who might not know, I am a complete coffee addict. I count my coffee intake not in cups or mugs but in jugs. I can consume a jug of coffee in one sitting. My entire family are coffee junkies. Anyone who's ever become close to the family turns into a coffee junkie. 

And then the palpitations started...and then I was off coffee. 

So for now, it's green tea all the way. No regrets though, as I am beginning to like the taste, warmth, and calm that it has brought. 

So what's made you happy today?

Day 15: Blogging

I am absolutely not happy today. To be honest, I went to sleep last night really angry because of something at work. I work for my father's company. Some people might think that because I work for my father's company, I have it easy.

Let me just say this:

1) You do not know my father.

2) You obviously have not worked in what is commonly known as a family business.

My particular environment is quite peculiar. While I am the daughter, I am expected to be the best possible employee, but I am also expected to act like I am just an employee. Yep. There are no special privileges here. We have all the responsibility without the pay nor the praise. We are expected to be the best that every minor error is repugnant enough for you to be called unworthy. The line is the same: "Naturingan ka pa man ding anak ng may-ari." Every mistake, even if its just that you failed to come in a minute earlier, you become the cause of the ultimate demise of the organization.

For someone's sanity, it is truly unhealthy to work for your family business, especially if it is small enough for you to feel that way. I often wish that I just be fired. In that way, I am not abandoning my father. Yes, there is that other angle. They always say that you are just an employee. But the moment you act like any employee would, you become the prodigal child.

They always tell you to separate the professional from the personal--but every mistake you make is taken as a character flaw. 

Note to "family" business owners: Everything is personal. Everything will always be personal. Stop pretending that it is not.

(Sorry for this rant. I am supposed to be finding reasons to be happy everyday. But it gets tiring when things around you are always pushing you down.)

But let me say this: I am happy today that I have this venue to vent. Because I need it. Today, I am happy that I can blog about this.

So what made you happy today?

Day 14: Naggy Grandparents

 

Image Source Here.

My Lola came for a visit and she stayed with us for a few days. She talked non-stop, from the moment she walked in the door, until she left. Apart from while she was sleeping, I never really felt her silence. Nevertheless, she's such a pleasant old lady that you can't think of anything bad about it. She talks a lot, she nags a lot, but then she's also always been quite the caring kind. 

Despite the fact that she doesn't cease to talk, her words are always very gracious. Her tone is always caring. For most things that she nags of, I laugh it off. Some things are quite useful. Some are just really endearing. She's the type of grandparent who is constantly laughing. I hardly see that in old people. After every special nag, she says, "I love you, hija."  Pretty sweet huh?

So what made you happy today?

Day 13: Style and Styling

 

Image Source here.

I have been lemming for this book for over a year. I always miss out on getting it during sale season. I still haven't gotten it yet, but I will, eventually. It is, I think, an absolute must-have if you want to do some styling. 

I have In Style's Getting Gorgeous, which I feel, started my interest in beauty and fashion styling. (Same goes for Trinny & Sussanah...)

I have an ongoing make-over project and I will be using the knowledge I have gained so far. I am in the process of developing the inspiration boards. I've selected the images and all...it's just an issue of bringing it all together now.

So maybe I will make it as a stylist one day? But really, I enjoy doing it, and I would do it for free. Anyone want to give it a shot?

So what made you happy today?